As most of you probably know, this is me and my little guy. He is my firstborn, my sunshine.
We snapped this selfie en route to his preschool field trip last week to the Children's Museum. He was so excited when I told him I had volunteered to be one of the parent helpers. He asked if we could sit together on the bus.
As a working mom, my perspective is probably a bit different than my stay-at-home mom friends. My motto for this season of life has been "Make work sacrifices for family; don't make family sacrifices for work." Hence my taking a morning out of my busy work day to spend time with my son.
Plus, I figure I need to seize these opportunities while he still wants me to hang out with him.
Yesterday we had Park's Kindergarten Round-up at the elementary school where he will be attending in the fall. During the meeting and in particular the presentation by the principal and as the kindergarteners-to-be were called up to the front to read a story, I was completely surprised when I noticed tears... Specifically, MINE. Not Park's. I looked over at Anthony baffled as I desperately blinked them back, and he gave me that husband look that is a mix of "uh oh" and "it's okay honey" and "is it okay, honey?" that we old married ladies can all probably relate to.
Here's the thing... I know Park is ready for kindergarten. I know he'll do great. It just struck me as we were sitting there in that elementary school gym on the folding chairs that this is a big deal in the whole process of letting him go and experience life. In cutting the apron strings, so to speak. I so desparately want the world to be kind to him and for him to grow and learn and be all that he can be, all that he was meant to be.
I want the best for my son in all things. It scares me that my ability to control this lessens with each passing year.
Therein lies the lesson for this mama, one that I seem to have to learn almost daily. He is not mine. He was never mine. He is God's child. And as Anthony prays all the time, "You, Lord, love Park even more than we do, even though we can't really imagine that."
My heart knows Park is in His hands. Sometimes it just takes my head a little while to catch up.
My prayer for Park today is from Mark 12:30: "Park shall love the Lord his God with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his strength."
I leave you with these two recent videos of Mr. Park Jacob Hilden, aspiring worship leader (he "wrote" this song himself and was singing it to us from his "songbook") and aspiring mathematician (he's Korean - natch!).